The latest from the blog!

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#1 – How to unlock your inner Drill Sergeant

(warning; cuss/curse words but also motivation enclosed!)

11.18.17: You are a born star and you were created to kick ass and look good doing it. It doesn’t matter if anyone cares or knows about it, you aren’t doing it for them, you are doing it for you.

 

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#2 – Feeling overwhelmed? Energy saving tips for your spirit!

11.22.2017: I feel the water rushing over my hands and then imagine it’s flowing all down my body inside and out and back into the sink, ‘washing away’ the grime of mundane and all bad things…

 

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So it’s official – Launching a new blog and site!!

I’m super excited because all my same kind of posts that I’ve done here, will be there. I’m focusing on my psychic medium abilities. I’ve been taking classes and will talk about that there too. 

I made a Fast and easy chakra balancing for you, check out the “Services” tab when you get there!

Check it out! I called it Secret Magical Life! 

http://secretmagicallife.com/

Don’t jump into the flames to die

Don’t jump into the flames to die

Consciously walk into the flames to be renewed

Don’t wither away and cry

Be purified to unleash the real you

 

Don’t hide your hard-earned scars

Let them see your eyes burn

Next time don’t let it get so far

Before you let yourself learn

 

and remember

 

that you came from nothing

and made everything

from it

 

~Anne Dresden

Valkyries – The original angels

Lovely music to listen to whilst you read: 

Valkryies, the original angels of death, were maidens sent by Odin to choose which soldiers that died on the battlefields were worthy of the journey to Valhalla. They were lead to this great hall by the Valkyries. The rest went to Freya’s field.

Valhalla – derives from Old Norse Valhǫll, a compound noun composed of two elements: the masculine noun valr ‘the slain’ and the feminine noun hǫll ‘hall’.

“Although the Valkyries were most often depicted as battle maidens, they were not warriors. The medieval perception of the battle-dressed Valkyries may have come from the contemporary discovery of prehistoric burial sites of ancient female warriors interred with their weapons. ”

All of life is just cycles , as the pre-Christian Norse believed with Ragnarok.

My feelings on this:

Everything that lives is holy.

Everything that dies is holy.

We must fall apart to be renewed.

Bend with the wind.

So we don’t break.

Allow ourselves to fall.

So we may rise again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

on feeling worthy of love…

I found some notes I wrote in 2011 and felt they are very Enneagram 3 (for typology folks), so sharing them might be somehow helpful to add to the inside feelings of us.
Here goes:
I am reactionary.

why? because I am afraid. I am afraid and starving for love because I meet people who are starving for it too. I think if I can “make” them love me then maybe I can find out how to make myself love me too. I force things where they need not be forced.
I control where things need not be controlled. I ache for something real yet I don’t know that I would recognize it if I even saw it. For I have no idea if I’m real.

What is real? I remember when I worked on the help desk and people called in everyday and I had no idea what kind of calls I would get each day.

Would I get the apologetic assistant that read the printer manual but for an hour couldn’t stand it anymore and called in for help? Or would I get the angry guy who couldn’t double click his mouse on one little app that really was angry at his life and just wanted to yell at someone?

I felt so helpless and at the whim of other people and dreaded going in each morning and logging into the phones. Waiting. Waiting for other people to abuse me or control me.. what? control me? Yes I am thinking I must be reactionary because that’s exactly what I was doing.

Thinking if only I had a job where *I* decided when I picked up the phone. Well I got promoted and got exactly that. Then I felt controlled by the tickets, random tickets that others couldn’t solve from my previous job, the help desk at level 2 I was now at.

I couldn’t always know exactly what the fix was or what the problem was because people wrote some very unclear problem descriptions.

Then I felt a slave to the numbers, how many tickets did you close today Anne? I always excelled and got promoted out of that but then I was a slave to major network outages.

Always I was gathering senior people, and programmers together on conference calls and wanting to scream at them “Just fix the problem and stop wasting time blaming each other!!” I didn’t feel in control.

Then I think to myself from these easy examples, when would I ever feel “in control” of my life? I can’t. If I’m always reacting to things without being at peace on the inside then that control I’m looking for is impossible.

So this book asks, what would it be like if that problem or thing was gone? How would you feel then? Well let’s say I felt in control of every situation in my life (which I realize is impossible) then what? I felt so blank. I don’t know.

I think maybe I wouldn’t be afraid anymore, what am I afraid of? I think this of relationships too I realize.

If I can just control everything then I will have time to feel love. I don’t know, I think maybe I used everyone since one bad event in my life to prove that I do have control. I felt so powerless during that time. I don’t love myself because I am afraid what if I don’t like who I am?

What if I face my fears and myself and I don’t like me? Then what do I do? I don’t love who I am now. This ball of fear and a kick me sign on my back.

The real me, I do love but I am afraid. I’m afraid to go hardcore into my religion because I’m afraid of being judged.

Then I think, if those people judge me so what? They aren’t people I’d want to be associated with, right? It’s not in my control to make everyone understand.

This is why I stopped wearing my pentagram and speaking my mind. I don’t feel like putting myself out there. Being vulnerable. I’d feel vulnerable, why? Fear again. Wow. I keep coming back to fear don’t I.

I want people to like me and I’m afraid when they don’t. I want them to like me so bad I will wear whatever mask they want, I will conform.

But then I’m assuming I know what they want. That’s pretty rude isn’t it?
Most times when I am myself and come out of my shell people seem to enjoy it. If I really care what they think.
Why the fuck do I care what they think? Why? Even if some girl gives me dirty looks for my religious symbol, why would I CARE?! Why why why.

I don’t have an answer. There is no good reason to care what other people think at all. Am I afraid they will hurt me? Why? What could possibly hurt me?

That girl would be living with her own perspective in her own world seeing the world completely different than me. What is wrong with that?

I have my truth that this is my faith , she has hers. Just because she doesn’t like my truth doesn’t mean hers or mine is less valid. It isn’t even about me when she gives the dirty look it’s about HER. 

Surrender

Trying to let go, this elusive surrender that seems barely under my control

Drowning me ..holding me under.. all of my soul

I feel her crashing into me over and over again

A rolling wave begging me to slip under

If I don’t listen and heed her call..her thunder

As it fills me I realize I have her power running through my veins

Deep within my soul sparks the ignition of her flames

I beg her to go away

But she won’t sway

Not until I acknowledge her deep grip

Relinquish the steering of my ship

And crash upon her healing shore

There is no denying it anymore

Heal or die

Is her cry

~Anne Dresden

Writing out thoughts turned into a post

How do I feel right now?
I feel like the “being okay with your feelings about money” (in a nutshell) course was awesome but long, 6 modules done!

So..so much writing..talk about intense journaling.

It’s still sinking in, especially in thinking of classes, webinars, and all self-development as investments. Thinking of the investment you’ll get when you spend money vs my “eek, it’s money! Must keep it in the account forever!”

I’m a super saver to a negative degree. Which is good at times like now but I can’t live like that always.

Speaking of investments… Holy crap I enrolled in a Clairvoyance class that starts in two weeks! It’s a 12-week intensive class.

I have had one of her books since 2015 as it was recommended by the teacher I had.  I was in her membership program for a year, so this is one of her teachers.

I felt like I should do it so I did as I’ve thought about it off and on.

Cringe and hit the pay button. I have to accept I may never feel comfortable making big purchases but I gotta do it anyway.

With both teachers meditations, suggestions for exercises and ideas, I’ve immediately seen images (either literally or in my mind’s eye, mostly mind’s eye-btw, that’s also clairvoyance). I’ve had immediate results, which is impressive. I’ve always seen some stuff , such as memories of my life, playing like a music video (especially when listening to music).

I thought this was normal. It seems most people I’ve quizzed do not know this as normal.

Also to me, they share my belief so that’s why they are a good fit as teachers it feels like.

That it’s not spiritual, it’s just science, we can do it if we learn how. Even though I am religious, I invoke my mom at times like this (she’s an atheist). I’ve told her ‘Science will explain it someday’. We simply have more senses that for some reason, people don’t want to recognize.

Part of me wonders it’s a mean to control us. If everyone could find their own answers for their lives, why would we need rules aka governments, corporations or even marketing?

I’m also more open to it as well, so that helps. I took a class a year or more ago on getting over my fears awhile back and that was helpful. It took time to really sink in.

I felt all my relatives and friends after they passed away. I felt my grandparents watching me multiple times. I supposed they were trying to communicate but I was too afraid, it was weird to me. Also, I really hate being stared at.

Little did I know, that I could have just asked them to take a different form. Tell a spirit to show you something else and tell it that it’s scaring you. Yep, it’s that easy.

There are surprisingly simple tips, like..actually asking it “What are you? Male or Female?” And either seeing, feeling, sensing or ‘knowing’ an answer.

I somewhat assumed that this was like Introverted Intuition in MBTI. If so, it’s apparently ‘super’ Ni/Introverted Intuition. Claircognizance is the closest ‘clair’ to Introverted Intuition as a super power. Clairsentience is the closest to Introverted Feeling as a super power.

The biggest problem I’ve had, other than “I don’t wanna see dead people, that’s scary, gross, weird.” Is that I’m cool with seeing Angelic things, Jesus and Gods and Goddesses. I’m kinda judgy like that, trying to get over that.

At some point I am going to go around doing readings as I’ll need practice. It’s something I’d like to do on the side and eventually maybe for a living. Who knows what the future brings.

Oh ha, I should as I’m psychic but as I’m reading (btw, everyone is, some just tap into it faster/easier and some it takes more practice) it’s harder to read yourself than anyone else.

This makes sense, as we all have our biases and I was reading a trick for this. When you go to do it you imagine two views, one of objectively viewing and another the desired outcome.

Then you can kind of compare. It’s way more complicated to master. Like pizza, easy to make, difficult to make it amazingly perfect.

 

 

 

 

I’ve been taking a social media break

 

In fact, I’ve just been taking a break in general. I’ve been pushing myself too hard after I had gotten sick, started to get a bit better, then pushed myself.

I lately kind of felt taken advantage of and so I decided to focus on other things. Exciting things, actually.

I found this *awesome* National Park near me that was like 5 miles away! When you need it, it will come, apparently. Walked for 4 miles yesterday (it’s that giant!) and the Everglades is right there.

We saw two alligators! One just his little head peeping up and another full on sunning out by a bank, nowhere close. It felt so good and I got sunburn (worth it) to just get out of my head and enjoy the sunshine and cool weather.

I learned that I have a lot of resources right at my fingertips and even wrote a bunch on a bigger site I’m working on. So that will be ‘coming soon’. I’m not idling so much as really feeling out what excites me in life.

What do I want to be doing? How do I want to feel? The immediate words I have jotted down on my sticky note is: Free, Light, Rich, Secure, Taken care of, Healthy, Comforted, Connected.

I really like this idea, that came from Danielle LaPorte, check her out sometime if you haven’t before, her stuff is awesome 🙂

 

If it doesn’t feel good..you are allowed to reject it

You know, in life, you are allowed to reject something if it doesn’t feel good, right?

A feeling, a thought you have, a lover, a job, calling someone back. No matter how good it seems on the outside, if your gut is telling you no, listen to it.

This holds no bearing on your worth as a person. It’s not a character flaw, no matter what anyone says. If someone tries to get you to go against yourself and what feels right for you, they are the one that isn’t right for you.

No one has the right to force or coerce you into anything you don’t feel comfortable with. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel loved and cared for at all times. Life may be turbulent but you deserve kindness.

Anyone that feels the need to test you in any way, is the one with the issues.

Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like their dreams, life or feelings matter more than yours. True equality is mutual support, interdependency.

~Channeled from Spirit 🙂